Movie Going Gone...

First up, let me go on record that I truly believe that film is dead. It's just that no one has told Hollywood yet.

And honestly, I think that this is a good thing - especially if you're a person who cares more about the movie than the "date night ritual" studios rely on to support their rapidly dwindling industry. I'm a full blown believer in digital cinema, and am ready to embrace it with all of my hard earned cash and rapidly dwindling free time. Why? Because from the time I could toddle, I've been obsessed with visual storytelling... but I admit it. There is a large part of me that still loves the theater-going experience, however reluctantly. There can still be a magic there - if you can find a decent theater, and go to the first showing on a Wednesday after the flick in question has been out for a good week or two.

But I still prefer to watch a movie at home, on my 42" HD screen, in the comfort of my boxers and microwave popcorn.

The reasons are quite common (among other film lovers).
1 - I hate people talking during the movie. Do we REALLY need a director's commentary from the loudmouth neanderthal in the front row? Does the guy sitting two seats behind you REALLY need to describe the action on the screen, scene by scene, to his braindead date? If she doesn't understand what's happening in the latest Adam Sandler flick, it probably doesn't matter WHAT the hell you say to her... Now the argument you'll hear FOR seeing a movie with a crowd really just ties into two genres - comedies and horror flicks. And I'll give you that. Comedies ARE often funnier in a room full of laughing people, and scary scenes ARE scarier when people sh*t their pants around you (can you cuss on Blogger?) Still don't know if that makes it worth seeing a flick in a theater, because:

2 - 80 percent the time, THEATER PRESENTATION SUCKS. Honestly, it doesn't matter if it's AMC, SONY, REGAL, CARMIKE - the projection of most movies is horrible. They are nearly ALWAYS framed poorly (and you have to go tell the ushers, who look at you from the heights of their ninth grade wisdom and wonder why it matters that the bottom of the frame is at the top of the screen and vice versa). What's worse, is when it's SLIGHTLY off, and you can see just a hint of the next frame in the black masking at the bottom; or the white soundtrack peeking on the side. And really, do they purposely start all of their flat movies with the scope lens on? So all the sheep in the audience watch the previews with every scene stretched or squished - and you sit there, hoping that maybe they just put the wrong ratio previews on this print and the film itself will be okay. Of course, it never is, and it comes down to you, noble film lover, to go tell the usher that the projectionist on duty is an idiot. And yeah, let's get geeky - nearly every movie I see in a multiplex is in need of new projector bulbs. The image is always a good 20 percent dimmer than it should be, with a hot spot offcentered. There's a million other things - poorly designed theaters which let the light from the auditorium windows shine on the screen (very common in stadium seating halls). Stained screens. Soft focus. Crappy prints. Reel changes taped together with hairy gum.

So why am I so nitpicky about this? Because I was a projectionist at a 7 screen multiplex - for three years. And being a film lover, I actually gave a sh*t.

3 - Commercials. Yeah, everyone bitches about them. So what do theater owners do? ADD MORE. They say they need the money due to dwindling attendance. But the more commercials you add, the less people will go to the theater. (I'd like a little butter on my irony, please.)

4 - The MPAA sucks. Movies (especially of the genres I adore), often have to be severely edited to even get an "R" rating - the absolute hardest rating 99 percent the movie theater chains will show. Of course, three months later, you can buy the UNRATED DIRECTOR'S CUT on DVD at your local Best Buy. Here's another reason theater attendance is down - why the hell would I pay to go see a censored movie once when I can buy the UNcensored cut (the way the director usually intended it to be) three months later for the same price, and OWN it? Theaters are shooting themselves in the foot.

5 - Home theaters are better than movie theaters. Everybody knows it. And thanks to Blu-Ray, this is more true than ever.

6 - Why pay to see a movie once ($20 for me and my wife, no concessions), when for the exact same price three months later, you can OWN it and watch it forever?

You want the communal theater experience? Invite friends over, buy a big screen HDTV, and pop in your favorite disc.

I guarantee it will be in focus.

So when is theater-going BETTER than home theaters?

1 - When the cinema-gods make the movies. Anything from Peter Jackson, Lucas, Speilberg, Cameron - it'll always be better in a movie theater - DESPITE everything I listed above, because their stories demand a sixty foot screen. After the first five minutes of ANY of their flicks, you'll forget about the crying babies (did you people REALLY think that your 9 month old would enjoy the TEXAS CHAINSAW remake?), the giggling teeny boppers, and the Frat Boy who read one issue of Entertainment Weekly and feels entitled to share all his cinema knowledge with his buddies during the opening credits. These are also filmmakers for whom I can't WAIT for three months to see their movies. Honestly. I swear I'd get nosebleeds. AVATAR is gonna - in the words of film geeks everywhere - f*ck my eyeballs. And I for one can't wait to be ocularly violated.

However, if I could figure out a way to fit a sixty foot screen into my house... I'd still rather watch it at home.

2 - Digital projection. If every movie was digitally projected, I might actually go back to the theaters. Why? The image is bright and even, focused, and about ten million times better than a 20th generation film print. No grain. No gate weave. Gorgeous.

It's a home theater experience. In a theater.

Film is dead, or at least it should be for presentation purposes.

But the big question for me, is if film is dead, can I still be a filmmaker?